Wednesday, January 28, 2009
I awoke this morning.
No, not in the sense of my eyes opened to a new day making its presence known with the scent of warm coffee on the air. But in a much deeper, more soul-oriented sense. A moment of total clarity, vision and understanding.
Ok, perhaps it wasn't a total awakening where all things make sense, but it was enough of a revelation for me to find peace and enarmor myself in fearlessness because there was a sense that no matter what direction I plant my feet, everything is going to be as it is meant to be...and yes, my inward prophecy to this realization sure looks joyful.
It's no secret I've struggled with intimate relationships- whether in love, family or friendship. In fact, for many years I ran from the closeness most people search for in their lives. Didn't want to hurt or be hurt anymore. An inward struggle to remain stoic and without vulnerabilities.
I could always find a reason, justified by narrowmindedness, to thwart contact with someone. Anyone. Perhaps it was religion...or race...or as trivial as hair color or the way they held their silverware...whatever fit the situation. And if there seemed to be no justification, I'd either label them less important than they were to me or run like hell with no explanations.
But sometimes, when we are immersed in hiding from ourselves, there's a stronger force at work behind the scenes. A power so great it plays our life cards well enough to guide us where we are supposed to be regardless of how much we struggle, kick, scream and resist.
Yes, I do believe everything happens for a reason and if I was meant to be in Chicago at four o'clock today to meet Joe Cool, circumstances would have unfolded in such a way as to find me there. Instead I am snowbound in New England with yet another fierce storm over my head, but that is a separate blog! I am here because this is where I am supposed to be at this time. Just as you are reading this because you were meant to hear these words for whatever reason applies to your situation. I believe that.
This idea doesn't just apply to you and me, but to everyone around us as well. Those in our inner circle were placed there for a reason significant to their lives and to our own. The magic happens when we learn to stop struggling and let things just be as they are...an inner acceptance that in the grand scheme of things we really don't have control. We are merely pawns on a chess board, if you will. No, that doesn't mean to forget your rent or mortgage this month! But it does mean to stop shutting out Tom, Sue or even Lassie because you're fighting the inevitable contact. They are present because they are meant to be...there's a purpose.
We don't always know how someone is supposed to "fit" into our lives, but if we allow them to "show up" with us, somewhere down the path the importance of their presence hits us like a brick to the face. Problem is, too often we allow society or our own prejudices to complicate what should have been an easy exchange of ideas and emotions. We're blind to their significance in our lives or we, like I used to do, label them less important to us than they are. We tend to prolong our own suffering. That's right, we rob ourselves of goodness everyday we allow ourselves to be ruled by narrowmindedness....or fear.
In my quiet awakening this morning, a thought materialized: God doesn't care who we love but He does care that we learn to love. For isn't love, of the unconditional kind, what truly makes us joyful and validated? And if God created everyone, isn't everyone equally important? Who cares what race, religion, sex, height, weight, or nationality someone is...within each person lies a true nature that is free of all those labels. Love doesn't know boundaries so what makes us wiser than it? Wiser than God who gave us the capacity to love?
If someone makes your world spin happily solely by their presence or you get a lump in your throat at the thought of their absence, then throw away the labels and immerse yourself in that love. Everything else will eventually work itself out. Whether for the next ten years or the next fifty years, it is meant to be. There's a purpose- even if it is only the chance to truly experience the beauty of love with no preconceived ideas and conditions.
Living with faith in the world around you and being open to all its possibilities may just throw you a few surprises. Possibly what you've searched for has been in front of your eyes all along.
In closing, today I wish for you the end of narrowmindedness and the possibility of something beautiful happening as you throw out your own personal agenda in favor of floating towards what is meant to be.